Dreaming World

Its been a very long time

But things change, life changes, things die and others grow and people come and go, and well, he did. He went away. It’s a great pleasure to say I no longer have the reason why I tumbled all those shit in the past. About a love that could never happen. Now I can go back to tumbling normal stuff again. Feels good.

All I know

is that it hurts.

I just love him,

that’s all. With every cell of my body. It’s crystal clear to me. And I keep expecting someday all this hits him and makes him love me back.

Nobody wants to be alone on a friday night.

Well, at least I don’t.

Not anymore.

I

LOVE

YOU!

And it kills me that I can’t say it to you. It kills me. It’s killing me right now.

Truth is I have never felt so miserably lonely in a very long time.

Long time no see

And yet, here I am again.

Talking about love again.

Because when I think of him, that’s what pops into my mind: love.

And I so much wish to say all the things that I’ve been holding in my heart.

I so much wanna tell you that yes, you are loved.

But it’s pretty obvious you’re not interested in MY love.

You already rejected me once, why should you want me now?

You think I’m over you.

I often think I should tell you everything.

But then I’d lose all these friendship moments.

And I love you so much I still want them.

I love you so much I even feel sorry for the fact that the girl you love, doesn’t love you back. I didn’t want you to suffer like that.

But what goes around comes around, and you kind of asked for it, didn’t you?

But if you were deaf and blind I would scream to your face:

I.

LOVE.

YOU.

So you would never know it’s true.

I

am such a fool for you.

And that, my friend, is what I call closure.

I’ll never be able to tell you that I loved you.

I can never talk to you again without feeling a little disappointment.

You do NOT deserve any of this.

It just wasn’t meant to be and I knew it from the start.

Why the hell did I try to push things anyway?

You never mentioned me on Twitter. 

You never confessed your feelings whatsoever.

It is over and I’m moving on,

but if I’m still angry, if I still care,

it’s because I still like you.

But God is so merciful, He already sent me someone else.

I’m truly blessed.

For I have lived and enjoyed each and every moment we had together.

Too bad you didn’t.

But about that, there’s nothing I can do.

Goodbye.

So long.

Farewell.

I decided to give love a chance.

The poor thing was suffocated by fear. But the good part of me rescued it from deep within. And now he can see it in my eyes. Whenever he wants to.

I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are.

Yes, I still care. I’m trying.

Love replaces fear.

It’s not simple at all. But it’s happenned.

So, I repeat: taking away all my fear and anxiety I’d say:

I love you.

I love you.

I love you

Fear is gone. Anxiety is next to go. Love is here. Passion is coming.