March 2012
2 posts
Every friday night
is the same. I stand here along and can’t help the tears falling. I think about how I got here, and if I’ll ever get out of here. Of this situation. A life without love, is it even worth it? What are my hopes and dreams and life plans without nobody beside me?
I want someone to be by my side and I think we all deserve someone to love us. To be there for us. We all deserve to be loved....
Lovin' you
was bitter as a winter day
Not even the sunrays of the summer lit your heart
I tried so hard to make you love me
But there was nothing inside; except darkness
so many feelings buried deep inside
maybe not so deep…
You have tricked me but never yourself
Knowing your heart belonged to someone else
But you never let me know
I could never sparkle in your stage
There was someone else,...
September 2011
1 post
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung...”
– C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
April 2011
1 post
Its been a very long time
But things change, life changes, things die and others grow and people come and go, and well, he did. He went away. It’s a great pleasure to say I no longer have the reason why I tumbled all those shit in the past. About a love that could never happen. Now I can go back to tumbling normal stuff again. Feels good.
March 2011
1 post
All I know
is that it hurts.
February 2011
1 post
I just love him,
that’s all. With every cell of my body. It’s crystal clear to me. And I keep expecting someday all this hits him and makes him love me back.
January 2011
2 posts
Nobody wants to be alone on a friday night.
Well, at least I don’t.
Not anymore.
I
LOVE
YOU!
And it kills me that I can’t say it to you. It kills me. It’s killing me right now.
December 2010
1 post
Truth is I have never felt so miserably lonely in a very long time.
November 2010
1 post
Long time no see
And yet, here I am again.
Talking about love again.
Because when I think of him, that’s what pops into my mind: love.
And I so much wish to say all the things that I’ve been holding in my heart.
I so much wanna tell you that yes, you are loved.
But it’s pretty obvious you’re not interested in MY love.
You already rejected me once, why should you want me now?
You...
October 2010
1 post
I
am such a fool for you.
September 2010
4 posts
And that, my friend, is what I call closure.
I’ll never be able to tell you that I loved you.
I can never talk to you again without feeling a little disappointment.
You do NOT deserve any of this.
It just wasn’t meant to be and I knew it from the start.
Why the hell did I try to push things anyway?
You never mentioned me on Twitter.
You never confessed your feelings whatsoever.
It is over and I’m moving on,
but if...
“Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers, maybe sometimes you...”
– Sex and the city (via kari-shma)
I decided to give love a chance.
The poor thing was suffocated by fear. But the good part of me rescued it from deep within. And now he can see it in my eyes. Whenever he wants to.
I may dissect each little thing and put myself out...
Yes, I still care. I’m trying.
August 2010
10 posts
Love replaces fear.
It’s not simple at all. But it’s happenned.
So, I repeat: taking away all my fear and anxiety I’d say:
I love you.
I love you.
I love you
Fear is gone. Anxiety is next to go. Love is here. Passion is coming.
“So I’m going out there. And I’m going to do the best I can. People are going to...”
– K. Boulden (via kari-shma)
I did it.
I talked to you.
And you didn’t think I was crazy. You liked it.
I told you you are beautiful.
And that’s just a substitute for what I really mean.
C.,
you are the boy I loved the most in my whole entire life. And I just told you that.
I guess I really need to tell people that I love them right now.
I'm dying
to talk to you. And you’re online, right here. But we talked all day and you’re gonna think I’m crazy, right?
So I just keep staring at your nickname. Dying to talk to you.
Oh no,
honey, I got it all wrong. Of course I understand. At least I’ll try to. And there’s something else. I wanna tell you that I love you. But first I gotta feel it. And for that to happen, you should give me a sign so I feel more secure. Because I came to an age where I need guarantees. What I’m trying to say here is, it’s up to you, baby.
I am patient. I told you that and...
I am an adult.
I have real problems.
I’m not attached to my parents anymore.
I stopped believing in God and started believing again, with my own feet.
I am free.
And you are not. And yes, maybe this is a problem.
People
are so easily offended. They’re still too attached to their egos.
Oh, my God.
He told me I’ll make it.
I might be falling for him. Just maybe. Or not yet.
July 2010
15 posts
Why am I not in love with you?
You did surprise me, but in the matters of physical.
That’s not what I need right now.
Right now, I just need someone to hold me tight and tell me I’ll make it.
Life's out there.
I wanna conquer the world.
You are so much better than I have imagined.
Ok, now it’s starting to feel great!
Ok, it’s starting to feel a little better now.
This situation feels so fucking uncomfortable.
Killing the ghosts
Who are you, ghosts? Why do you still hunt me?
I can’t love anymore.
I can’t feel anymore. But the kisses, they’re oh so good. When he grabs my body tightly, oh it’s amazing. When he touches my skin, I love it. His kisses in my neck, wow. His breathing in my ear… dear Lord. I’m feeling outside. Is it even possible? I should be feeling inside. I wish I was. But I’m not. I’m not in love. It’s...
I wanna get away from here. I want a lover that takes me away from here. I want a lover that loves me with fury and despair and hurts my lips in the first kiss just because she wants me so bad. I want a lover with my name craved on her arm even knowing we won’t last forever. Let’s run, let’s disappear, let’s just be strangers in nowhere land. I want a lover that violently drags me down and...
People wish to be famous to show all the ones that hurt them, that they managed to succeed despite everything they’ve done to them. Again, an angry response.
- I'm gonna miss you.
- I'm gonna miss you too.
And I don't care
whether you love me or not. I don’t care if you’re not ready. I don’t care if you’re not my type.
The way you make me feel is much bigger than anything.
“Sometimes, truth isn’t good enough; sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes...”
– The Dark Knight (via kari-shma)
I went to the church today
and I asked for love. Then I realized things only happen when they have to. This thing called fate or destiny is much bigger than my desire. Then I asked for patience.
This whole year
seems like a total waste of time so far.
It's a tiring role
a girl must play: to pretend she didn’t spend hours thinking about that perfect kiss.
I just saw a picture of my ex
with his new girlfriend. And I didn’t feel jealous at all.
Things are exactly at their right places.
June 2010
9 posts
Oh, and by the way,
some things do heal.
some things do end.
some kisses are forever forgotten.
How?
New kisses take place.
I have a lot of pieces
of phrases, little fragments that I just write down around. Someday it’ll all come together. But no rush there.
If life is indeed short,
why should I waste my time doing things, reading books and watching movies I don’t want to?
I’m looking for things that are essential. Everything else doesn’t deserve my precious time.
Yesterday
before sleep I thought that all the things that didn’t work was because they just weren’t ready yet. At that moment everything fitted so perfectly in my mind. I was no longer hurt, because what’s not meant to be, will never be. I slept happier.
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.
“I don’t much care where —” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
“—- so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.
...
I don't know
how things are working out right now. I have made my decisions but I don’t see they changing anything in my soul for now. Maybe it’ll look better in the future. I’m having a hard time trying to look ahead. But I’ll get there.
What's left?
I have left everything behind. I dropped acting classes, the university, a job that I worked hard to get.
What’s left now?
A little anger, some really good memories, and a little bit of hope.
We are all secrets dying to get discovered.
May 2010
3 posts
Bob Dylan
My father used to love Bob Dylan. He had some of his vinyls and he listened to it when I was young. I’m here. Bob’s still here. But my father’s gone.